Introspection
by titangirl161
Summary: a four part piece going into the minds of the four Joi survivors. They were all in the same war, what happened to drive them so far apart?
1. Tatsuma Sakamoto

Hi friends

Hi friends! I'm here once again with my new Gintama fic! And for those who are reading my Saiyuki story, I have NOT given up on that one, and am still writing it, just doing a little bit of Gintama on the side. Anyway, I was planning to write something like this for a while, as I feel so sad whenever I see pictures of the Amanto war survivors. I see the four of them together, and I think about how they were all such good friends, so what happened to drive them so far apart?

This is going to be a four part piece, going into the minds of the four of them, thinking about the others. I'll explain later how I figure their ages, as I can't type much right now. This first chapter is Tatsuma Sakamoto, since he appears the least and I know the least about him. My puppy-muse will do the disclaimer and we'll begin.

Scribble: While we love Gintama, we don't own it. We're too poor.

Introspection

POV 1: Tatsuma Sakamoto

I was always the outsider of the group.

Kintoki, Katsura, and Takasugi had all known each other before joining the war effort. I had been younger than them, and when I joined, they had already been there. I knew already that they had a past together which he had no part of.

Yet they never treated me as outside, but always as a friend. They would always include me too, Kintoki easy going and carefree, Katsura serious and dignified, and Takasugi, quiet but charismatic. Quite different from the battlefield personalities.

But then again, my own battlefield personality was different too, wasn't it?

To them, I was all of their little brother, and I was always happy with just that. They were the best friends at the time I could've asked for.

I told Kintoki my plans, plans to leave and fly along the stars, and asked if he'd want to come with me. I knew Takasugi would never want to be anywhere close to those invaders he hated so much, and Katsura wanted to save the world in a different kind of way. I thought Kintoki would most likely want to go. But he wanted to stay on earth, but what he told me gave me the courage I needed to go. He told me he'd cast this net on earth, and if a star fell from the sky, he'd throw it back up. I knew what he was talking about when he said this. I felt certain that if I ever fell, he'd push me back up into the sky.

I think about them as I sail through the stars. I still see Kintoki every so often. He seems to be doing pretty well, he's got two good friends with him, and if they can keep him happy, when I can see that's deep down here's still dealing with what I can only guess is a painful past, then I hope they stay by his side forever. But he's doing well, and that's the important thing.

As far as I can tell, Katsura is doing well too. He's getting chased by the police, so I really get don't get to see him at all. I did send him a gift though…I picked up this weird alien-duck on some remote planet, and knowing Katsura's weird sense of cute, I figured he'd like it a lot. I think he named it Emily or something. But since there was no news that he was caught, I guess he and the duck are still free, so that's good.

The last one I've heard nothing from. Takasugi. I have no idea what happened to him after the war. He disappeared off the face of the earth, it seemed. I just wish I could hear something, anything, just to know if he's alive and well.

I think both Katsura and Kintoki know, but if they do, they won't say anything. I guess this means it's not good news, but still I want to know.

I look down to where we're heading. Earth. I smiled. Maybe I'll stop in Edo, and I'll go say hi to Kintoki while I'm there.

Scribble: That wasn't so good.

Me: Yeah, well, it was hard writing for him, since as I mentioned I know him the least out of all the characters. The reason I say he's an outsider is because during the most recent subbed arc, it had a flash from Takasugi and Katsura's memory, and it only showed Katsura, Takasugi, and Gintoki, causing me to believe Tatsuma was younger and came in only during the war.

Well, there's part one. Next up is Takasugi, so let me know what you think. Please don't flame me saying it was horrible, because I can't improve with just that. Constructive criticism is appreciated and good reviews are of course always welcomed. Long Live the Joi!

-titangirl161


	2. Shinsuke Takasugi

Ok, here I am back with another chapter! Woooo! This chapter is for Shinsuke Takasugi and once again I don't know him too well, but I'm going to do my best! Yay doing my best! And THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS! I LOVE YOU ALL! (Reviewers look at each other uncomfortably) Sigh, that ALWAYS happens when I do that. Oh well. Scribble, take it away and we'll get this started!

Scribble: We do not own anything. We do love Gintama very very much though. Possible spoilers from episode 62.

Introspection

POV 2: Shinsuke Takasugi

I HATE them.

Well, it wasn't as though I had been crazy about them in the first place. I know I go way back with Katsura and Gintoki. It seems I've known them forever, back when we were in school, when Shouyou-sensei was still alive….

(A/N: I'm lead to believe that's his name? If it's wrong, I'm sorry!)

We went to war together, and that TRAITOR joined us. I thought he was alright at first, an idiot, but he was a strong fighter, and he took out enough amanto to make me happy. Things happened, the war was lost, and most just said that was that.

That's WHY I hate them so much,

First off, that idiot Sakamoto. He didn't even stay around to see the end of the war. He went off into space somewhere, to actually WORK with those dirty aliens who had killed so many of our comrades. Where is his sense of loyalty or pride anyway? Does he have any left at all? I'm led to believe not. I haven't heard anything from him, so I can only hope he's dead in some ditch somewhere. I can only hope though.

Then there's Katsura. At first I thought it was alright, after all, we were both fighting for something similar. We were still a bit like allies. We both wanted to change the world. However, he wanted to save the world, while I just wanted to destroy it. Our plans were too different and I knew there was too much difference and we'd have to eventually split. It didn't matter much to me at first. But what really got me when was he raised his sword against me, which couldn't have mattered one way or another, but he had to do it with HIM.

HIM. Sakata Gintoki. Shiroyasha, as I remember his nickname. He's the one I hate the most.

He was the fiercest one out there in the war. He truly did fight like a demon out of hell. He was so angry after the death of our sensei, and he took out all his anger on those amanto. I never had seen anything so awe inspiring.

Yet today, he actually lives PEACEFULLY with them. He lost everything he once believed in and is just out there doing nothing with himself. I can't even tell where his drive and anger went. He threw away his past and lives so carefree now. If he were to pick up his sword again he could easily destroy anything that crossed his path. But he chooses to live like this? If I thought Sakamoto had no pride, Gintoki is a hundred times worse. And still, I have been unable to kill him. I've tried, but he seems to be invincible or something. And that's what I hate the most about him. He just won't die. He's just like a cockroach.

But it's ok. If I ever see him again, I don't care what it takes.

I WILL kill him no matter what.

Scribble: WOW.

Me: Yeah, he was hard to write for. I meant to make him sound evil and angry, but I think I only succeeded in the angry part. This isn't easy.

Oh! To explain the weird logic behind what their ages: Tatsuma is youngest by default. I looked up their birthdays and if we ASSUME the others were all born the same year that makes Katsura the oldest, the Takasugi, and last Gintoki. So that's my logic behind their ages.

Thank you, again, for the reviews. Thank you to those going for the little blue button on the bottom. Saying it sucks won't help me. Con crit and good reviews are always welcomed. I can't say long live the Kihetai, because I don't like them, so I hope they get taken out by Katsura and Gintoki! Long Live those two!

-titangirl161


	3. Kotaro Katsura

Hi everyone! It's time for the third chapter! Yay! This is Kotaro Katsura's chapter, and this one will be easier for me to write, as I know Katsura pretty well. I especially like the way Katsura says ridiculous things with a straight face, but this is a serious story, so I can't do that, but oh well. THANK YOU REVIEWERS! I LOVE YOU! (Hugs the reviewers and they run away scared.) I hate how that always happens. Oh well. Take it away Scribble!

Scribble: In case chapters one and two didn't already spell it out for you, we don't own Gintama, and chances are we never will. It's a sad life.

Introspection

POV: Kotaro Katsura

I want to change this country.

After all, wasn't that why I joined the war? All four of us must've wanted that, as well as all our fallen comrades. But I knew for sure we did. The four of us were always together during those hard times. I still to this day wonder how Sakamoto could always stay so cheerful and upbeat while there was death all around us.

The amanto did not need to be here, nor did they belong here. They all had their own planets to ruin, so why come in and ruin ours? I don't care about what they say how they helped our economy or got us farther along in trade. We didn't need them in the first place, and I believe we still don't. I always will, and that's why I formed a group to keep fighting against them.

And though they were my closest friends, there's only one of them I can ask for help, but every time I have, he's refused.

Takasugi I want nothing more to do with. I thought we were on the same side and were allies, but he turned against me first chance he got. I should've known our ideals were too different. He's nothing more than a lame beast, and he seems to think he's the only one in this world who knows sadness, like he's some kind of martyr or something. We were all shocked and saddened by Sensei's death. I know that it didn't even hit Takasugi the hardest, and yet he acts like he was the only one who was hurt, and it sickens me.

Sakamoto…well, I've never really had any way of understanding what was going through that guy's head. I still don't. I feel a little sad that I can't see him anymore. It's not that I don't want to, but I can't. He's a respectable businessman of a successful company now, and it would only hurt his image he it were known he was the friend of a terrorist. I know he would never turn me in, but even that wouldn't bother me so much as him being in trouble for not doing so. Therefore I can't be seen around him. However, I know that I must do it one time. It's my duty as a man because I do owe him for something. Elizabeth. He sent her to me as a gift, and not only is she an adorable pet, she's also proved herself to be a strong and trustworthy ally as well, and is second in command in our group. So I do need to thank him for sending her to me, even if it's the last time I'll see him. Maybe one day, at the dawn of a new Edo, when I'll no longer be a terrorist, I'll be able to see him and invite him over for some tea.

I'll also invite another certain samurai over as well.

I keep inviting him to join, but he keeps refusing. I can respect that though. Even though I hate how he calls me Zura all the time, Gintoki I'm actually somewhat proud of. He was the one hit the hardest by Sensei's death, yet he, who should've been the angriest out of the three of us, endured through it. He learned to accept the fact and let go of his anger. If anything, that makes him the most mature of all of us. I know he still feels sorrow for our lost comrades, and like me he wonders why, if they all died, why he didn't die with them, why he had to survive. He didn't want to have to go through something like that again, but I know the new comrades he has now…they are strong, and they can fight on their own, but if they ever need him, Gin will be there, because this time he's not going to let them go.

He lives by his own rules now and does the best he can to help those he knows. I wish he would join up with me again, but as long as he's happy with the life he has, then I'll respect his wishes.

I wish he would call me by my name though. It's not Zura! Darn it, it's Katsura!

Scribble: I like the last line.

Me: I do too. I had to change it though because of the rating for this story and I'm too lazy to change that. I got his thoughts for Gintoki from what he said in episode 62. Well, the last part will come next, in the mind of everybody's favorite lazy, JUMP-loving samurai. Thanks for reading, and more thanks if you would review my terrible ramblings. Con crit is appreciated and good reviews help me write faster. Long Live the Joi faction!

-titangirl161


	4. Gintoki Sakata

Hi people! At long last, it's time for the main character to speak. YAY! Now, this was going to be the final chapter, however, if I get even one request, I will put up a bonus chapter- this will have both Shinpachi and Kagura's thoughts on the Joi survivors and, biggest and most importantly, their boss. For those reading, thank you, and for those reviewing, thank you for all your reviews! You make an authoress very happy! So let's go! Scribble?

Scribble: We do not own Gintama, however, now we DO own Gintama volume 7.

Me: Also, sorry for taking so long! I promised myself I'd finish my Saiyuki story before I finished this one, and I just finished! Woot!

Introspection

POV: Gintoki Sakata

I don't like to talk, or even think, about the war.

It was possibly the worst experience of my life and sadly the most memorable time. I still remember the look, the sound, the smell of death everywhere- you could even TASTE it in the air. I would probably have lost my sanity somewhere there if I hadn't had people like Zura, and Tatsuma, and even that idiot Takasugi, to be there with me, to fight by my side. I already had a history with Zura and Takasugi, back when Shouyou-sensei was alive….

But I don't want to talk or think about that either.

The reason I still do think of the war is because it's what ties me to these three.

Tatsuma I knew the least, but I had always liked him. He's like that annoying kid brother you just couldn't get rid of, and then if you did you realize you kind of didn't want to get rid of him. He was an idiot, but a strong fighter. He had a dream to go out there and fly to the stars. I didn't mind that he left before the end- he had a dream, and what right had anyone to stop him from realizing it? I know Takasugi hasn't forgiven him, and probably never will. But even he had sounded a little unsure, although I made sure to give him the words he needed to be able to go out and do it. He's doing well now, he's a successful businessman of an interplanetary company, and I still see him every now and then, even if he is still an idiot.

Takasugi…another thing I don't like to think about. I mean, as I said, we go way back. We were together, with Zura too, for so long, we all experienced the same things. I don't know what made him the way he turned out. I know he teamed up with Zura for a while, but even then, he wanted to kill me. It may have been because after the war, he asked me to keep fighting, to keep rebelling against the aliens who made our world a mess. But I couldn't do it. The war already took too much out of me and I was sick of fighting and killing and watching people die. Maybe they called me Shiroyasha, but I had also grown sick of that nickname as well. Did they really think I enjoyed being out there, that fighting like a demon came naturally to me? Most of the time I was just trying to survive to the next day. So I turned him down. I think he's never really forgiven me.

There's another person who asks me to fight again, and I always turn him down as well.

Zura, serious and studious, he had always been like that so long ago. He would always complain about how I never tried and was just lazy, but never did he turn me down if I asked for help. I always thought he'd go on to really become something, but no, he just had to go be a terrorist. I can't dislike him for it. He also chose his own path, and if that's what he wants I won't stand in his way. It makes me sad that he can't walk the streets unless in disguise, that he has to spend all his time running from the Shinsengumi, but he signed up for that when he chose this. And when I ask for his help, never does he hesitate, he still comes to my aid, and just the same, if he needs me to help him, as long as I don't have to sign up with the rebels I'll do just that.

We fight like a married couple sometimes…well, a lot…but I still feel glad when I see him, because, after all, I still consider him to be my best friend.

We four were the only survivors. That's why I hate thinking about the war so much. I sometimes wonder why I didn't die with my allies. I still remember how much it hurt to see them all die, as we all struggled and fought out there, and how everyday I prayed that even if I fell, that at least Zura, Tatsuma, and Takasugi would make it off the battlefield alive, making me glad that Tatsuma left early, because at least he lived, and strangely a little sad that Takasugi didn't die, so he wouldn't've morphed into what he became. I also remember telling myself that I should just not bother getting close to anyone, since everyone I ended up meeting I ended up losing.

I broke that promise though.

Ever since I met those two, Kagura and Shinpachi, my life has seemed…fuller, somehow. Having someone to protect makes living not so hard. I still find it weird…I thought I'd be happy if I didn't have to hold onto people, but I wasn't, and now that I can, and do, again, life seems much happier. Plus it's a comfort knowing that both are strong and can take care of themselves a lot of the time, so I don't have to worry about them dying all the time. I still mourn for the friends I lost, that I couldn't save, but the pain is a little less now.

Now that I have new friends to protect.

Scribble: Wow. That's a serious side of Gintoki you usually don't see.

Me: Yeah, well, this is a serious fic. I'd like to try a funny one soon, but mangas need my attention…like the one I mentioned above. By the way, before writing, I watched a video for Gintama that really got me inspired for this one, with the song Welcome to The End by Celldweller…if you'd like to see, go on youtube and search for true samurai gintoki…it'll be the first one. Once again, if you'd like to see one more chapter, review! Or just review anyway. After all, we love con crit and good reviews. Long Live the Yorozuya!

-titangirl161


	5. B1: Kagura Yato

Hey people, it's been a while but now I'm back! As I mentioned before, I said I would write a bonus chapter with Shinpachi and Kagura if anyone asked. Well, no one did, but I decided I really wanted to write one anyway, so I will be breaking it down into two chapters, Kagura's first, then Shinpachi's. As the previous, it will have their thoughts on each other, and the four war survivors, particularly their boss. So let's take this one away! Scribble?

Scribble: Even after all this time has gone by, we still don't own it. If we did, there would be Gin's childhood already. DAMN YOU SORACHI, GIVE US GIN'S BACKSTORY!!!

Me: Ok…calm down there. NOTE: I didn't want to write with Kagura's REAL accent (ending in -aru) so I'm doing the crappy American version accent. Just so you're all not sitting there wondering what she's saying.

Introspection

Bonus POV 1: Kagura Yato

Some times I wonder why I ever bothered coming to earth in the first place, yup.

I mean, earth itself isn't so bad. There's too much sun, but I'm fine with my umbrella, yup. It's actually nicer than the constant rain, I think. There are mountains, and forests, and oceans. Earth itself is really nice.

It's the people that suck, uh huh. Or at least the people I know.

First off, there's that scary guy who almost killed Zura. I don't really remember his name even, nope. His eyes reminded me a bit of my brother's, and sometimes I wonder what would happen if they ever met. Turns out he knows the idiot I work for, and I have no idea what it is between them, but they seem to hate each other. But I thought they fought in the same war together? Wouldn't that mean they're allies? But then again, how could he be friends with such a psycho? Not to say Gin-chan's normal, but he's not a psycho, nope.

Then there's his other dumb friend. The one who always has that stupid laugh and ruined our house once. I can't believe an idiot like him actually runs a huge successful corporation, yup. I initially wouldn't think an idiot like him would survive a war, but after seeing him walk off with Sadaharu attached to/chomping down on his head like it was nothing, I can tell he's pretty tough. He just really needs to learn how to do things right, like not crashing into your friend's houses, yup.

Then there's Zura, and his freaky human-disguised-as-a-duck-and-Zura-is-too-stupid-to-notice thing Elizabeth. He keeps asking Gin-chan to join, and Gin-chan always says no, which is good, because he's a terrorist and is always on the run from the Shinsengumi (and I HATE that damn sadist!) and wearing weird disguises and doing weird things like rapping to get members to join, uh huh. He's really not that bad, and I know Gin cares for him, as much as they fight, so any friend of his is a friend of mine, and I was truly worried when I thought he was dead/seriously hurt. As long as he stops bombing things and stays ok then he's alright with me.

Then there's the idiot prince, Shinpachi. The otaku, the straight man, the sane one, the smart guy who's always yelling at his dumb friends for no reason. That's our Shinpachi. He also has an unhealthy obsession with that idol girl who's just plain WEIRD, yup. But he always has his moments where he shows he's actually tougher than he looks, and he always sticks to his word. I think that's what a true samurai (or whatever they're called) is and does. He was also the one who pulled me back when I lost myself to my Yato blood. I'm happy he's around, because he's like the big brother my own big brother wasn't, and deep down, I know if it was just Gin-chan and I, we would probably ended up killing each other, so it's good to have him there to beat up on instead, yup.

All these idiots, and I met them all because of one person, who introduced himself by running me over with his scooter, yup.

Gin-chan. The original freelancer of the Yorozuya. He never paid me even once, he spends any money he gets gambling or drinking, getting sugary junk foods to give himself diabetes, or buying JUMP, so we always barely have enough to get by. He's lazy and sits there with dead fish eyes and generally doesn't really work at all, yup. But when he gets serious, his eyes change, and it's almost as if he changes too. He suddenly becomes and unstoppable force that can take down anyone and anything. I think he could even challenge the sun and take it down if he wanted to. And at the same time, he keeps that side of him in check most of the time, and doesn't let it control him. It's just like my Yato blood, but for him, and he never lets himself lose to it, nah huh. That's how I want to be.

Actually, I'm glad I came to earth and met these idiots. Gin-chan is just like a big brother too, and he and Shinpachi make my life here so much fun, yup. Even though I'm not getting money and I'm not getting paid, I'm happy here, and I'll be here with Shinpachi and Gin-chan, as a proud member of the Yorozuya, for a long time.

Scribble: Yeah, your writing sucks.

Me: Eh, it did sound much better in my head. Well, people, here's bonus chapter 1, and the final chapter will follow soon. Let me know what you think. Worthless flames don't help. Con crit is welcome, and good reviews are appreciated. Long Live the Yorozuya!

-titangirl161


	6. B2: Shinpachi Shimura

Welcome back, everyone, to my final chapter of Introspection! Yay! This chapter I've been trying to re-style and re-fit so many times in my head, but now I give up and I'm just gonna freestyle it. Woo Freestyle! This chapter is for everyone's favorite straight man, Shinpachi! This one's gonna be a bit hard to write, as I don't think I can ever fully capture Shinpachi's I'm-sane-but-everyone-else-around-me-is-retarded-and-crazy spirit, but I'll give it my best! And as said, this will be his thoughts on the war survivors, Kagura, and his boss, Gintoki. So let's start this thing. Scribble?

Scribble: We aren't even working right now, so there's no way we'll ever be able to own it, and someone, now that their job is over, needs to go find a new one!

Me: I told you, I'm working on it! Anyway, here we go!

Props to What2callmyself for beta-ing for me!

Introspection

Bonus POV 2: Shinpachi Shimura

I sometimes wonder how I ever got myself into so many messes.

I mean, I wouldn't mind if it were once in a while. That's fine, that's just how life is. But EVERY SINGLE DAY?! It's just too much! My life just seems to have gotten so crazy lately.

I mean, look at the people I know!

First off, there's that guy who won't stop laughing. He's Gin-san's old war ally, and now is a business man. He told me that it was profit that moves people, and in a way he was still fighting the war, but on his own terms. It actually sounded pretty cool, but he was such an idiot! He flies through the stars, but gets motion sickness! How does that work?! And he nearly stranded us on a desert planet! Sometimes my brain breaks down wondering how he can manage it. It's more than anyone can comprehend.

Then there's the other ex-ally of his, the dangerous one- Takasugi, a well known terrorist, first one on the wanted list. So far we've only run into him once, and that was more than enough for me. Even fighting his subordinates I was frightened. What I want to know is why he's so angry that he would try to kill Gin-san and Zura, why he wants to destroy the world, and why is he teaming up with the amanto he hates so much just to do this? He actually made a pact with the Harusame pirates and the amanto, just to get us! If he hates them so much, why is he accepting their help? There could be a piece in their somewhere that I'm missing, but I doubt I'll ever find it.

Then there's the other idiot who always comes around- Zura, or, as he loves to correct us all, Katsura. He often comes around asking Gin-san to be a terrorist, but he also manages to get himself captured by the Shinsengumi several times. And he says ridiculous things with a straight face! How does he do that? And what IS Elizabeth? I still haven't figured it out! Why hasn't he?! But he's stayed Gin-san's good friend through all these years and always has been there to help him out, just as Gin-san will stand by his side and help him as well. Just so long as it involves nothing terrorist related, because Gin-san refuses to go back to that. I'm glad he does too. Living the way we do is stressful enough, I don't think my heart could take it if we became terrorists as well.

Then there's my colleague, Kagura, working with me and not getting paid at the Yorozuya. She gets crazy sometimes and is super strong without realizing her own strength, but she really does get what's going on, more than we do sometimes. She is definitely a much-needed powerhouse for our team, and she always speaks her mind, despite what might (or might not be) on it. Although sometimes I am scared she and my sis will one day go off on a conquest to take over the world. I know that I can always trust Kagura to be by my side, and together, we work as great backup for our boss.

That's right, our boss. Gintoki Sakata. Gin-san. The one who never paid me, and who framed me when we first met, but then helped me save my sister from a brothel. That's him.

He amazed me when he first met, then aggravated me, then surprised me, and in the end I could see something in him all other people seemed to have lost- a samurai soul, a bright silver light, seemed to shine out of him whenever he was fighting earnestly for what he believed in. I don't like it when people call him Shiroyasha, because it doesn't fit him at all. Sure, his eyes get scary, and his fighting is amazing, but he is in no way a demon. His eyes shine and burn with passion, and a demon could never feel so passionately about anything. Those eyes are just the eyes of a true samurai. And whenever I see them, I know that's what I aspire to be. I want to be someone strong who protects those close to me.

He showed me even if the land of samurai had changed, the spirit of a samurai never did. And he let me believe that I could find it in myself, and so I stay with him and work for him, and I know one day I'll find that same spirit in myself.

BUT WHY HASN'T HE PAID ME YET???

Scribble: Ha, that was some way to end it!

Me: I couldn't resist, it was getting too serious for Shinpachi, so I needed to end it humorously. Well, people, here is the end! Yay! I'm working on another one-shot, so be sure to look out for it! And let me know your thoughts, since I obviously can't read minds yet. Worthless flames suck. Con crit is helpful and appreciated. And good reviews rock! Long Live the Yorozuya!

-titangirl161

What2callmyself: Ha ha, Shinpachi and you are in the same boat, even if he does have a job. O.O In that case, so am I.


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